Interview:Christian homes should be violence-free - Mrs. Susanna Oladele

Mrs. Susanna K. Oladele 

In this interview with Pastor Bukola Olagoke, the Chairperson of Ministers' Wives Fellowship, Christ Apostolic Church, Nigeria and Overseas, Mrs. Susanna K. Oladele speaks on marital related issues, CAC Ministers' Wives Fellowship and many other interested issues. EXCERPT !

We bless God for the success of this year's ministers' wives conference. What factors can you say engendered the success of this year's conference?

2022 Ministers' Wives Conference was glorious, because it was God that was solidly behind it. I have nothing to boast of.  It can only be God. 

Ministers' Wives Fellowship will be marking her 50th anniversary which is Golden Jubilee next year. What are the activities to commemorate the memorable anniversary?

Yes, we have started working on that by the grace of God. The anniversary would be glorious. We deem it fit to mark it in a big way because looking back and seeing what the Lord has done in the fellowship for the past years, I think we need to glorify God because He has really helped us.

He has made the Fellowship to stand and the past leaders have handed over to the right successors. We are really working on that and the plans are  ongoing and by the time it comes to fruition it shall be so glorious and very powerful.

What are the areas you would be needing the assistance and support of people in this mission and beyond in the realization of many projects you envisioned in the forthcoming celebration of the Golden Jubilee of Minsters 'Wives fellowship?

We are planning to construct a big hall where different programmes, meetings and ceremonies can be held. We also plan to have a mini playground for our children, such that people who come with their children can be free to release them to play around. We do not have enough rooms where people can lodge during the conference but we believe we can start from somewhere.

When the Israelites were to leave Egypt, Pharaoh said not all of them will go but they said 'no, we are going with our wives and with our children.' I don't see any reason why we should leave our children behind at home when coming for programme in Ikeji. Anytime we come to Ikeji we want our children to have a sense of belonging and be able to play all around. We also intend to put some men and women of faith with them who could handle these children for us and then nourish them in the way of the Lord. By God's unfailing grace, we would like these visions to be realized during the Golden Jubilee celebration.

Ministers' Wives magazine which is titled "Women of Faith" was out during this year's conference. What is the vision behind it?

Infact, the magazine was initiated by my humble self. It was borne out of passion and love for women so that we can learn from our past leaders, not only pastors' wives but from other women of faith and righteous women in the church who have gone through thick and thin in life and ministry and how God helped them to overcome all the hard times. That is part of what we want to learn from the magazine. 

There are some Ministers Wives who are not matured enough but do complain that when they met their husbands that he didn't tell them he would go for pastoral work and as a result of this, problems will rise in the family. By reading through the magazine they will be able to learn how these past leaders overcame their own test of faith. That is why this magazine was initiated.

Is the magazine a personal venture/initiave or it is aimed at the development of Ministers Wives Fellowship?

By the grace of God, it is not a personal profit oriented initiative, rather it is meant for the development of the Fellowship. During Ikeji II conference centre, we learnt that some people didn't want to buy the magazine and I could read it in them thinking probably the proceeds is for me. It isn't meant for me. We could see that we titled it "WOMEN OF FAITH." It is meant for our fellowship. Whatever money that is generated from its sales goes to the Fellowships purse not my own personal purse. 

Domestic violence is rampant in our society today and Christian homes are not left out, what are the biblical injunctions on how Christians' dispositions toward their spouses should be in Christian homes?

It makes me sad whenever I hear there is violence in the mission house. It is a different thing entirely if it is being practised outside the mission. It is in our mission houses that peace should reign most. It is saddening when we hear that there is a fight in the mission house and a wife is seen tearing the shirt of her husband or the wife moves out of the house and then the children starts crying.  There shouldn't be violence in our homes if we keep to the Bible injunction which says: 'husband, love your wife, wife submit to your husband, children, obey your parents, fathers, don't provoke your children, servants, obey your master.'If individual can keep to these instructions and have a large heart, a heart that forgives, then it will be heaven on earth (Colossians 3: 18- 22).  The Bible says we should add virtue to our faith. If we haven't added virtue to our faith, it is not christianity at all. That means we haven't been taught by the Lord, we are just professing it but did not put it into practice. It is only when we put it into practice that people will say of a truth we are children of God. When they see the godliness, maturity and passion we have for Christ, definitely they will know that we are God's children. Violence, fighting, shouting or turning the mission house into a war zone is not good enough. We should try our best possible to grow like we have been taught. We should not only grow in faith, but we must grow in love, share our love with our husbands and to our neighbors. We should also learn to be matured in everything we do. If the flesh tries to use us, we must count on the Holy Spirit to help us. With all we heard at this year's  conference, I believe that our people will surely grow and be rooted in the word of God and pray without season. 

I emphasized to our women that after our Bible, the Hymn book is the next thing that could edify us in the Word of God. If we can put these into practice then the mission house will be heaven on earth. We should also pray for our nation because violence has become rampant. 

If we see our youths, we should show love to them and also educate them because many of them come from single parents, a home where they always fight. It is our duty to bring them to Christ, nuture and show them the way, take them through the scriptures, help them to grow thereby helping our society. We should not just close our eyes and say "let there be peace in our own time" and leave these ones. We should therefore plan for the future because we cannot be there for life. All these young ones are coming to where we are. Some people were there before we came and when we leave another set of people will replace us and it is this young ones that we plan to leave and hand over our heritage to. We should try to show them the way of the Lord, show them charity and where we should discipline, we should not hesitate because the Bible says we should not hold back discipline. It is when we discipline them that they will realize their own fault.

The Bible is against divorce but some Christians suggest there could be a separation in an abusive marriage. What is the biblical standpoint on that?

Abuse or violence in marriages happen because of immaturity and growth that is hampered because they could not fight the flesh. They always listen to what the flesh tells them to do. When I was younger they would say if one is goat, another should be sheep; that is when we will enjoy our home. The Bible instructs that women should submit. At times when women submit, the ego in men will not allow them. They will be emphasising their headship in the family instead of showing love.  The Bible says in the book of 2nd Peter, husband love your wife and wife should submit. If you love your wife you won't beat her. If you submit, your husband  will love you. If the two can understand it that way there will be harmony, peace and love in the house. As regards the separation, I for one as an olden day child (Omo atijo) I don't believe in separation at all. We should look at the root cause of all these things first. The social media these days has spoilt the whole thing. The children of nowadays don't respect their mother-in-law or father-in-law. Their boy friend is gotten on the internet and it is what they are told from the internet that they listen to most.

If you talk to them they won't listen except the one that is already born again or that is being fed daily with the Word of God. It is unfortunate that some men get their wives on the internet whereas in the olden days there is courtship before marriage and that is when you will be able to study each other very well. This is no longer happening these days. They just go on the internet - Facebook, Instagram etc to get their own partners and this  should not be. It is our duties as parents to train our children in the way of the Lord and tell them to listen to their parents. The book of Proverbs says "my child when sinners entice you, do not listen. Children, listen to your parents, they cannot mislead you, listen to the word of God." If they can practice all these things then we would have good homes. When we fail to do just that, God will keep quiet and be watching us. 

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